Plenty of good self help materials are available for every type of sexual issue. Browse the Internet or your local bookstore, pick out a few resources that apply to you and use them to help you and your partner become better informed about the problem. If talking directly is too difficult, you and your partner can underline passages that you particularly like and show them to each other. Give yourself time. As your age, your sexual responses slow down. You and your partner can improve your chances of success by finding a quiet, comfortable, interruption free setting for sex. Also, understand that the physical changes in your body mean that you'll need more time to get aroused and reach orgasm. When you think about it, spending more time having sex isn't a bad thing; working these physical necessities into your lovemaking routine can open up doors to a new kind of sexual experience.
Both men and women can improve their sexual fitness by exercising their pelvic floor muscles. To do these exercises, tighten the muscle you would use if you were trying to stop urine in midstream. Hold the contraction for two or three seconds, then release. Repeat 10 times. Try to do five sets a day. These exercises can be done any where- while driving, sitting at your desk or standing in a checkout line. At home, women may use vaginal weights to add muscle resistance. Talk to your doctor or a sex therapist about where to get these and how to use them.
Often, the vaginal dryness that begins in perimenopause can be easily corrected with lubricating liquids and gels. Use these freely to avoid painful sex. A problem that can snow ball into flagging libido and growing relationship tensions. When lubricants no longer work, discuss other options with your doctor.
Even if you're tired, tense, or upset about the problem, engaging in kissing and cuddling is essential for maintaining an emotional and physical bond.
The sensate focus techniques that sex therapists use can help you re-establish physical intimacy without feeling pressured. Many self help books and educational videos offer variations on these exercises. You may also want to ask your partner to touch you in a manner that he or she would like to be touched. This will give you a better sense of how much pressure from gentle to firm, you should use. Try different positions. Developing a repertoire of different sexual positions not only adds interest to lovemaking, but can also help overcome problems. "the increased stimulation to the G-spot that occurs when a man enters his partner from behind can help the woman reach orgasm."
This exercise can help you explore possible activities you think might be a turn on for you or your partner. Try thinking of an experience or a movie that aroused you and then share your memory with your partner. This is especially helpful for people with low desire.
Do something soothing together before having sex, such as playing a game or going out for a nice dinner. Or try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or yoga.
This device can help a woman learn about her own sexual response and allow her to show her partner what she likes. Don't give up. If none of your efforts seem to work, don't give up hope. Your doctor can often determine the cause of your sexual problem and may be able to identify effective treatments. He or she can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you explore issues that may be standing in the way of a fulfilling sex life.
